In Days of Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
~ Robert Burns, 1788
The Scottish poet Robert Burns set pen to paper and wrote the words to this classic poem in 1788. It would later be set to music and become a standard of what we sing at the dawn of every New Year. The words, auld lang syne, roughly translate to mean, in times long ago; the poem is a re-imagining of an earlier work written by another Scotsman, James Watson, in 1711. The first stanza of Watson’s poem reads:
Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
on Old long syne.
The version penned by Burns, written three and a half score and seven years hence, certainly pays homage to Watson’s earlier work and truly stands as a piece unto itself. Both poems pose this idiomatic question of its and our times: is it right to look at our past, with sorrow and regret, and simply forget and move on with our lives, often with heavy hearts and regret? The question of course is a rhetorical one for the answer is no.
We pause and take time to reflect upon the past, the moments of celebration, victory, and triumph, in order to balance them against the troubled waters that we have waded through. None of us are promised an easy life and certainly none of our lives come without some pain, no matter how outwardly we try to cover or hide this fact.
But in reflecting upon the time that has past, we must hold a reverence to the life lessons taught and apply that knowledge in order to mature, grow, and be better, better to others certainly but most importantly be better to ourselves.
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I recently spent time engaged in a lovely conversation with a beautiful friend of mine of Scottish heritage. I began to reflect upon my own days of auld lang syne, that is the year ending. The year that is/has passed, the year that was, was a year that has been rife with struggle, hardship, anguish, and much inner reflection and soul searching. The promise of New Year’s Day 2016 soon became for me overcast with dark, stormy skies. As the year wore on, I faced trials and tribulations that I did not believe I had the capability or was in possession of the fortitude necessary to face and survive.
My 40 days and 40 nights of rain, misery, contempt for myself and those around me led me to places that were dark and cold. I imagined that it was an experience unlike what others who deal with depression experience but as a personal expression of my inner self, I was wrought with self-loathing and thoughts that are (and should be) best left in days of auld lang syne.
As the months passed, my friends noticed changes in my character and my physical appearance. My personality, attitude, mood, weight, were all manifesting themselves outwardly and the filters I had set in place to hold back some of my truer, deeper, darker feelings of despair and loneliness were breaking apart, opening a floodgate of emotion and anguish. I built a temporary flood wall and responded to the interest and kindness of another for a brief period but this became unhealthy and unattainable and launched me head first back into the abyss of my lonely mind.
Being self aware of what is wrong with you but powerless to intercede and stop the pain is in it of itself very maddening. I remarked to a special friend of mine that it was alike a feeling of being alone in a crowd, trapped in your own personal hell without ever giving signs that anything is wrong. Fortunately a serious health scare halted my self-pity party long enough to seek attention and wake myself from my looming date with self-destruction.
Auld lang syne is a recognition of that which haunts us but also that which upholds and celebrates who we are. Auld lang syne is the collection of experiences that form the sinew, blood and bone of our being. Auld lang syne is the manifestation of our inner self, shaped by destiny and history, expressed outwardly for others to experience.
The good, the bad, the inconsequential, and the significant experienced of our lives lay within us and becomes known to others, either in dribs and drabs when we choose to control what others see, or as a flood of epic, damaging proportions, when levees break and the floodgates are opened.
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As an African American male living in a country that stands at the crossroads of revealing its truer self, I am apprehensive about what tomorrow may hold. I fear that the promise of racial reconciliation and harmony will soon be brushed aside and replaced by her ugly cousins of race-baiting, racial division, and fear mongering.
This divide and conquer, us versus them strategy, as aptly reminded of by a learned friend, is not an accidental byproduct of the recent election cycle but a well thought out and carefully orchestrated plan executed by a power structure who saw much of their control and influence eroded during the last eight years of President Barack Obama’s time in office.
We have once again learned to vilify the straw man and wave red herrings, such as illegal immigrants and urban criminals and violence, in order to divert attention from more serious questions, such as the potential auctioning of America, Inc. to Russia, China, and anyone else with the money willing to pay our price. The promise of the American dream for those of a certain ilk has been resurrected, that old Horatio Alger rags-to-riches tale, which is certainly a lore of auld lang syne I remember during the age of Reaganomics during the 1980s.
There is much to be concerned and worried about as we as a people, as we the people, enter 2017 and move forward together. The unity of community and brotherhood has been damaged but I refuse to believe that it has been completely shattered. The world did not come to a screeching halt on November 10, 2016, the day after when we realized that the next Commander-in-Chief of the United States would in fact be one Donald J. Trump. I doubt that the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, as foretold in the Book of Revelation 6:1–8, will rise upon the opening of the seals and fulfill the prophesy of the end of days and the coming of the Lord.
I am concerned about a President-elect who appears, on face, to eschew intellectual curiosity and spends much time and effort engaged in personal social media attacks and self aggrandizement as opposed to developing a deep understanding of the awesome task yet to befall him as the 45th President of the United States.
My concerns about the future of project USA, perceived or real, will not however deter me from spending time to address those personal demons that caused my 2016 to be such a horrific year. I am affected, as we all are, by the direction we are headed in as a country, but I have to be selfish and invest more time in building (and rebuilding) project me. The promise of new opportunities, new love, new friendships, perhaps a new life in a new place, all are within my grasp. I must learn from my days of auld lang syne and conquer those demons that would otherwise hit the repeat button for the year to come.
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To my friend of Scottish heritage and to my fellow country folk I say that we must continue to reflect upon days of auld lang syne, not with sadness and regret but with a proper acknowledgment of its importance and significance in bringing us to this moment and place. That which I lost and regret in 2016, I have found in new experiences, friendships, and relationships that have given me a renewed spirit and hope, albeit a cautious hope.
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I wish you much joy and happiness in the coming New Year. I wish you find love, if not in the warm embrace of another then in yourself. I wish you peace and understanding, even when such peace and understanding is not forthcoming from those who challenge the very conventions of our existence and would as soon cast you down then lift you up. Finally, I wish you to simply learn to hold out your hands and take a cup of kindness, dear…
…for auld lang syne.
